Keeping Your Cool When Your Marriage Falls Apart

By: Patricia C. Palmer, Paralegal

There is a saying in the legal field that criminal attorneys see bad people on their best behavior and divorce attorneys see good people at their worst. Going through a divorce is one of the most stressful events you will experience in your life. Often the promises, future plans and good times are replaced with anger, hurt and sadness. It is hard to not feel vengeful or want to act on those nasty feelings.

Your divorce attorney understands these emotions and his or her staff can be a sounding board for you to vent your frustrations about your spouse and breakup. However, while you may be angry and upset about your situation, always remember that your attorney and his or her staff are trying to help you. Some of the information requested from you, or the "homework" you must complete, can be confusing and arduous, but are vitally important to your case. It is important for you to follow your attorney's instructions and timely complete these tasks so your attorney can represent your best interests to the fullest.

It is also imperative to focus on what is most important and follow your attorney's advice regarding involving your children in the divorce process. Unfortunately, they are the ones most affected by warring spouses. While there are certainly instances where one party is an unfit parent, that is not the norm. In most cases both parties want to do what is best for their children, even though he or she may be making poor, irrational decisions during this trying time. It is important for you to remember that your spouse is your child's other parent. You should refrain from denigrating him or her in front your child or from asking your child to play spy. As hard as it is for you to deal with the breakdown of your marriage, it is perhaps even more difficult for your child to come to terms with the family break up and household changes. This is only made worse by parents acting like children.

Though your divorce attorney will help you through every step of the divorce process, there are many ways a mental health professional can be a valuable asset during this difficult time. A mental health professional can teach you coping skills, offer suggestions on how to communicate with your spouse constructively or help your children deal with what is happening around them. A mental health professional can also give you advice regarding the best way to deliver information regarding your separation, divorce and family changes to your children. The attorneys at ShounBach can refer you to mental health professional to help you navigate this difficult time.

By having a supportive team, including family, friends and professionals on your side, the stress associated with divorce will be lessened and you will find it easier to keep your cool.

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